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A Poem for Brian

This a poem I wrote for Brian Oliveira my husband who passed away from complications associated with Spinocerabellar Ataxia Type 3 (SCA3). 

Dedicated to Brian Oliveira
Written by Sari Oliveira

Imagine for a second what it would be like:
Just to live?

Imagine having your entire life where living was exhausting?
But you still showed up and did your best.

Imagine that every detail of your life counted in one day?
But I still showed up.

What’s simple to most, we take for granted it’s human nature.
It’s exhausting for me! I still smiled and kept going.

Positivity, perseverance, determination sprinkled with a grandiose zest for life once upon a time… with a beautiful picture of how life was told to be, kept me going for a while. I had a good run.

A great life to be had, was promised that was true.
Nobody tells you.

Imagine hearing there’s no cure and nothing we can do for you?
Imagine how deafening, devastating those words can be!

When no one can answer the why’s or the what’s next, but you know there’s a long road ahead?
I showed up.

Imagine excruciating, debilitating pain in every inch of you trying to find relief just to exist?
Every single day you get tired of fighting you just can’t anymore,
you’re done fighting!

Eventually there’s no more left and no more showing up.
When you tried to fight your best fight that’s exhausting.
But in the end of it all I still showed up, less and less I couldn’t.

It’s climbing a mountain with no end in site.
I still smiled, I laughed, I loved, I had my days but:

“I still showed up” with a beautiful smile on my face. 

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